"I try to be sexy but men just don't get my style"
The infamous words of a girl who lives in pinafores and dyes her hair colour that even unicorns would find too much.
I walked around Cardiff this morning on my first Saturday off in god knows how long where I haven't had anything to do. Now I know Wales is quite the hub of hair extensions and fake tan but I also noticed how many different people were wandering round.
I also noticed how many girls were walking around dressed the same as each other. I hate seeing these tribes of teenage girls who all hang out wearing white jeans and Kylie Jenner inspired crop tops. Not only are they...well clearly freezing to be frank but they are also a little bit terrifying.
As a 25 year old woman I am well aware that being adorned in bows and embellished collars with baby blue hair may not scream mature adult BUT I genuinely feel intimidated by the girls who are..7 or 8 years younger than me. I truly walk past them with my teeth clenched waiting for some intimidating comment or foul remark. The saddest thing about that? That its just me assuming the worst. That has never happened to me, however the thought of it happening is almost as terrifying as the real thing!
Now that clearly says more about me than anybody else but isn't it a sad thought that being a grown woman with (lets face it quite shocking low self esteem) makes you scared of 16 year olds?!
I never claim to be a feminist. Mainly because I truly believe that there are some things that men and women cannot be equal at. We are different genders and we have different elements that make us good and bad at different things. I do however believe that we should all feel comfortable doing what we want, dressing how we want and saying what we believe.
I spend majority of my time comparing myself to everyone else around me. Girls that were on my course in uni (which I left 2 year ago) wondering if I look like the one who didn't get the good job, looking at pictures of other girls I knew years ago wondering if they're thinking 'god Lucy got fat!' obsessing over the fact that I want to look like Alexa Chung but I never will and constantly thinking if I am ever going to get a god damn boyfriend.
But WHAT IS THE POINT.
I love my life. I love my flat, I love my job, I love my friends and family and I LOVE my wardrobe. I am completely aware that I have a 10/10 life so why keep wanting?
Theres always going to be something;
- A £100 pair of shoes I 'Want'
- A guy I have a crush on that is just not into me.
- A girl I know that I wish I looked like
- A job I want but can never get.
Except its all want want want not need. I don't NEED anything.
So instead I spend my time focusing on the good things. And mainly pinning anything I find that highlights this. Things that pretty much stop be being a miserable b**ch.
It's so hard to survive in this generation of Social Media, people everywhere create fake lives with filters and photoshop. How about we just accept that fact that we are actually smashing it.