Be nice or go away.
Now, this is going to cause a flurry of people to have a go I'm sure but I haven't posted for a while and I think its because I've kind of lost interest in 99% of things that I had in my life a few months ago.
In the last 12 months I have a dramatic change in my friends, my job (I actually have one I like) my living situation, my financial situation (thats got worse) but one thing that...for the first time in a long time I realised was that I was starting to be alright with myself. By that I mean I was ok getting dressed in the morning and looking in the mirror thinking "Alright lets do this"
In my typical style however this was short lived.
After seeing one badly angled picture of myself and hearing a slightly off par comment about how I once looked I immediately felt myself plummet into a realm of "God I'm so fat." "When did this happen?!" "Thats why I'm single" "My clothes are horrible" "Im never going to get my dream job" "I work really hard and everyone else is out doing me"
I sat on Facebook and Linkedin purposely searching for people I knew who are thinner than me and doing jobs that I would kill to be doing.
I then momentarily got a grip and reverted back to my happy place....Pinterest.
After deciding to bleach my own hair on whim a couple of months ago, I now typically have decided to have it dyed darker. My first thought? "What is everyone else going to say?" Why should I care though? I live on my own and don't have a significant other...so really why the hell do I care what people think?
So anyway....as you probably know if you know me I am a HUGE Alexa Chung fan. She is my hair, beauty & style icon and I am obsessed with anything and everything she puts her name to. My Pinterest highlights this as my style board....well its full of Alexa.
I then started watching her Future of Fashion series, alongside that I watched an interview where she commented herself that she felt hurt by comments that she receives via social media, comments saying she needs to eat and is too skinny. Now don't get me wrong I would kill to have a body like Alexa. I constantly worry that how I dress would look a million times nicer if my Beyonce bum and full hips didn't set my A line skirts at a bit of an off angle.
But what really hit home was that every picture of street style or looks to love on the internet are of women who are a size 8, tall and tanned.
We get told to be who we are.
We get told that exercise will make us happy.
We ge told that it doesn't matter what shape or size you are.
So why do people still feel the need to comment?
Yes the easy thing for me to do would be to shut up and do something about it if I'm that bothered, but right now the thought of walking into a gym let alone exercising where any other human could see me fills me with nothing but dread.
So what are we meant to be?
Skinny girls want curves, curvy girls want to be skinny. Are we meant to be blonde or brunette? Have long hair or short hair? Are we lazy if we don't contour every morning? What if we don't wear heels and body con on a night out? Is there a way we are meant to dress?
If people had half an idea about the effect that their comments have on people would they still be so quick to say them?
I know for sure that the last thing I need are people thinner than me calling themselves fat to me, or people telling me not to get my hair dyed or laughing at what I'm wearing purely because they don't understand it. Yes we all put on a front. I am the first to admit to being as dry as a bone with my sense of humour but why does that make it ok for people to pass comment on something they have no idea about?
Maybe if we spent less time criticising other people and more time taking care of how we feel ourselves we would all be a lot happier.
- Yes I am going to dye my hair. No I don't want your opinion.
- Yes I want to wear clothes that you wouldn't...why would I want to look like everyone else.
- No I don't have a boyfriend and no I don't think its weird.
- No I don't have a plan. I don't have my dream job but yes I will.